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Emotional regulation

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Helping anxious children accept uncomfortable thoughts and emotions

May 8, 2021 by Shannon Eidman

Noticing anxiety in children can be tough on any parent. If you support a child who struggles with anxiety or regulating emotions, you may notice they tend to get stuck. That anxious thought, fear, or possibly even agitation or rage seems to take hold and they just can’t see beyond. So what can you do to help?

Anxiety is a part of life

The reality is that everyone experiences anxious or uncomfortable thoughts and emotions at times. One thing that helps many of us get through is the perspective to take a little distance from those thoughts. It’s the ability to recognise those thoughts and emotions can come and go, and to see a ‘bigger picture.’

How we respond matters

It is quite natural for parents to try to distract a child away from the trigger; to help them avoid. Or maybe to comfort a child, suggesting “you’re OK.” While this is always very well intentioned, it may not be the most effective approach. Instead, you can foster resilience by broadening their awareness to the idea that experiences can be more than one thing. Don’t ignore, invalidate, or distract away from the thought or emotion, but add to. That first day of school can be both scary, and exciting. The ‘annoying’ sibling can be both annoying and kind and helpful. Or even that math homework can be both difficult, and worth the effort. How do you sell that? Well, that would depend on the child. If we’re talking about an older child who has their sights on further education and a job, you can work that angle. For some children though, it might be about reminding them to get through that homework so that they can get finished and out for some football or on to the tablet.

Small changes can make a big difference… over time

What’s important is to remember that this is a skill set and can be encouraged and taught. Building resilience is likely going to take more than just changing some language. There are so many ways to help children get unstuck, but we suggest you take this first simple step. Replace ‘but’ with ‘and.’ When you approach with homework or are trying to get out the door to school and their response is “but It’s too hard,” think about your approach. Instead of “you’re fine, you’ve got this” or “you’ll be fine once you get there,” acknowledge that thought and expand it. You might suggest “I know it can be tough and I can help,” or “I know you’re scared to go, you can be scared and still walk through that door.” Or another simple change you can make is add for now; “I know it’s difficult for now, and the more you practice, the easier it will get.”

Need more help?

If you need to know more about anxiety in children, you can book a free, 30-minute block with one of our therapists from our homepage here. Or have a look at our unique parenting series: An Acceptance and Mindfulness-based Approach to Parenting the Anxious Child. This 4-week series involves 4 live sessions with our experienced therapists and 3 pre-recorded sessions available to view at your convenience. Click below to learn more.

Uncategorized acceptance and commitment therapy,  anxiety,  Behaviour support,  child mental health,  coping skills,  emotion regulation

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Wishing a Happy New Year to all the wonderful families we support and all our wonderful followers 🥳 We are looking forward to a great 2023 🤩
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To any of our BCBA friends, if you're looking for a unique and insightful CEU, this is for you. Dr. Sarah Cassidy will be talking about her approach to supporting emotion regulation and mental health in children and adolescents. This is a great opportunity to learn more about the applications of ACT and RFT to promoting positive mental health.
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2 months ago
To any of our BCBA friends, if youre looking for a unique and insightful CEU, this is for you.  Dr. Sarah Cassidy will be talking about her approach to supporting emotion regulation and mental health in children and adolescents. This is a great opportunity to learn more about the applications of ACT and RFT to promoting positive mental health. 
To learn more and register, visit https://connections-behavior.com/events/cassidy-magpies-1/
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So proud of our dear friend and colleague Dr. Sarah Cassidy for relasing this brilliant new book for children. ❤

There's still time to register for her webinar this Thursday on school anxiety and avoidance for youth. I can't wait to hear what she has to say. If you want to learn more, visit https://reachchildrenslearning.thinkific.com/cours…
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Athboy psychologist launches children’s book on anxiety tonight | Meath Chronicle

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